 October 1990, I went for my mammogram and a few days later my gynecologist called me at work and advised me there were suspicious lumps in both breasts. After several biopsies, I was told I had cancer in both breasts.
When I was told of the cancer, my first thought was how am I going to tell my only child, my son, that I have a life threatening illness. He had recently lost his father after a long illness. My next thought was that I will fight this without burdening my family and friends. Being a recent widow I had become very independent and had always been a person that wanted to support and help others; not others helping me. I was determined to do it alone.
Having lumpectomies of both breasts, the results were seven out of ten lymph nodes in the right breast were affected. My oncologist suggested I go to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore for experimental treatment in lieu of chemotherapy and radiation. I opted for chemotherapy and radiation treatment locally in order that I would not burden my family with having to make the trips to Baltimore.
Before leaving the hospital, a couple of ladies from Women Supporting Women visited me and left literature and their telephone numbers. I did not want their help or sympathy. I did not want to be reminded that I had cancer. I wanted to mentally block it out. After returning home, again a cancer survivor from Women Supporting Women visited me. I still did not reach out for help or encouragement. I was going to be a survivor on my own. I went into the treatment like an ostrich with its head stuck in the sand. I did not ask questions as to my treatment. I just followed the doctor’s orders. I did not read the literature that was given to me.
After three Chemo treatments, while in the shower one morning, all my hair fell out. I cried all alone. At this point, I had not told anyone that I had cancer. I had not bought a wig. Several treatments later the nausea, diarrhea, mouth ulcers and fatigue began to take its toll on my body. It was very difficult to explain my medical situation to my family and friends at this time, but I no longer had a choice. However, I still refused to talk about it and refused help. I fought this battle my way and won. Would I advise others that are taking this journey to do it my way? Absolutely not!
In 2004, I learned I had kidney cancer and had to have the kidney removed. My first thoughts at this time were I need more information on this cancer and what are my options for treatment. I need a hug; I need someone to cry with me; I need words of encouragement. I reached out to my family and friends. I found they wanted to help me travel this journey. They did not want me to shut them out like I had while fighting breast cancer.
To those that are beginning on the journey for survival, I cannot stress enough to reach out to those that care and want to give you support. Both you and your supporters will be blessed.
Written By Becky Porter
Appearing in our November 2006 Newsletter (view newsletter) |
